Jetta drivers are dicks

The ultimate dick brand?
The ultimate dick brand?

Thus far I’ve tried to keep car rants to a minimum, but I’ve finally had enough. There are many types of bad drivers on the road that I could categorize until the cows come home, but the most horrible, hands down, often drive VWs (most of them being Jettas). Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a German hater. I lived in Germany years back (check my first ever blog post) and dedicated many years of my life to speaking “auf Deutsch.” Regardless of my love for the Fatherland, I have noticed a strong correlation between driving a VW and being a dickish, selfish, dangerous driver. This sad reality is heightened when they’re running you off the road while you’re on your bike.

Jetta drivers are the worst. These folks are poster children brand whores. Anybody who’s ever picked up a copy of Consumer Reports knows that if you’re going to buy a VW, you have to get one of the expensive models (like a Pasaat) and that Jettas are absolute pieces of shit. Last week an attractive blond woman in a white Jetta reved up to block an intersection at a red light while cutting me off in the process. My dirty looks went unnoticed. This is the essence of the VW driver: driving too fast, without care for others, and with smugness.
I probably won’t make too many friends with this post, but for all the VW drivers in America with delusions of driving on the Autobahn, I stick my middle finger out to you. Slow down and pay attention. You truly suck.

9 responses to “Jetta drivers are dicks

  1. This is a mild car rant compared to some of the stuff that goes through my head 🙂 I have to rate the BMW owners as the worst, but YMMV in Minn.

  2. BMW SUVs in particular are a whole other brand of evil. They must all be related to Dick Cheney. I agree completely.

  3. My vote is any kind of form over function crap SUV–something is going on when people choose a cage like that to drive. I was once almost run off the rode by a large black Jeep Cherokee. As this dude roared past me, I was thinking “Compensate much, Fella?”–Get this: his vanity plate said “XTRA LRG”

  4. Hey now, I am a bike commuter and drive the VW wagon when the need arises. I am always respectful of my fellow cyclists when driving. I would argue that your average VW driver is far more likely to be bike friendly than your average Chevy or BMW driver. VW is progressive meets utility, right at the sweet spot between Buy American and Pass-the-Gruyere.

  5. As nice looking as some of their models are, VW cars typically don’t rank that high in efficiency or that low with regard to emissions.

    In fact, I recall a 2007 report by the Union of Concerned Scientists that called VW cars “some of the dirtiest, when compared with others in the same classes.”

    “Progressive” is the image VW is marketing and it may be what its drivers are thinking. But, in reality, VW’s “progressiveness” is likely more about style and image than substance.

  6. Must have just been the odds; around here it is Lexus (Lexi?) and the big 4×4 trucks with the scrotums… talk about over compensation.


  7. Devil's Lettuce

    But not all dicks are Jetta Drivers, right Tad?

  8. Frankly, I’ve noticed a lot of the Audi drivers being dickish. They’re the same company now, aren’t they?

  9. Bob McFrakle

    YES!!!!! The are bad ddriveer

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